Got-Wicca.Org The Ramblings of A Woman Seeking Her Path

I think it’s interesting to hear why people chose the path they are on. So, in an effort to not be just a reader and be a participant in this, I have decided to post why I am Wiccan.

From my earliest recollections of going to church, I remember telling my dad that I wanted to go. We were not a church going family at all. My dad had lost his best friend, had actually held his friend in his arms as he died, and when his friend died, he swore that there couldn’t be a God, because his friend had died. But anyway, I remember telling him I wanted to start going to church. Everyone I knew at school couldn’t play on Sunday because they had church. I wanted to be like them.

But I hated going to church. I hated reading from my Bible. Children were not subjected to the whole “you’ll go to hell if you don’t believe” thing because children are supposed to believe automatically. It’s what the churches like to call “childlike faith.” Problem was, I didn’t HAVE that childlike faith. I didn’t see the point. This was telling stories about people that no one could actually prove existed. What was the point in that?  So I stopped going to church.

A few years later, I moved to Iowa. I found out at that time that my birth mother (who lived with me and my adoptive parents, who happened to be my grandparents) had been baptized several years before as a Mormon. The religion intrigued me and I took the discussions from the missionaries and was baptized. But I never felt comfortable there. Like before, I had the “you can’t prove these people existed” mentality.

I even tried other churches, but none of them gave me that comfort, that sense of what they were teaching being real. Yes, I believed in a higher power, but I couldn’t believe that they would cast out their own “children” because of mistakes they made. It didn’t make sense.

At some point, I started to hear about Wicca. I was curious about it, but at the time, I had no one to help me, no one to learn with me. Then I moved to Texas and made a friend there who was as interested in Wicca as I was. Later I would find out that she wasn’t quite as, how do I want to put this, interested in Wicca as I was. She was terrified that her mom would find out, and when we were roommates, forbade me to have any of my Wicca or Tarot things where they could be seen. She made it clear to me that the Christian faith her parents had instilled in her was far more powerful for her than for me, and that she could not be shaken from it. This was fine for me.

One of my other friends, a Mormon, cannot understand why I would leave the church. I explained the way I feel about what the Christian churches feel is right. What gives them the right to say that the only way to believe is to believe as they do? Who gave them that right? A God that no one can see?  A God that no one hears? Come on, be serious.

To me, if I look around, I see the Goddess & God everywhere. I see what they’ve done. And I know that if I ask, they’ll show me that they are there. If I need them, they’ll make their presence known. Not like the God that never made his presence known to me when I needed him before. Not like the Christian God that never answered any of my prayers.

And that is why I am Wiccan. Because I needed something more to believe in. Because I needed to believe that no matter what I do, I AM loved and I have someone to guide me when I need it. Because I needed to know that although evil exists, we can keep it at bay, by not naming it. By not giving it a special home, that it can take people back to. Because I needed to know that I have lived before and I will live again. That my flashes of another time are not just my mind playing games with me.

Because Nature is more than just pretty to me. That is why I am Wiccan.

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